请注意:本文包含一些内容,我们的读者可能会发现令人痛苦。

这一切都在2月初开始,当时SARS-COV-2病毒达到意大利。一开始,它被每个人低估了,政治家声称它是一种正常流感,邀请人们与座右铭出来,“意大利不会停止。”几天后,他们会意识到他们犯了一个非常严重的错误。

3月10日,当我从特伦蒂诺的假期回来时,我发烧了。它不是很高,大约100.04°F,并且在部门的指导方面,我向该地区设立的免费电话号码报告并要求一名拭子检查我是否有收缩的Covid-19。

我没有收到测试,因为我没有进入一个“红色区域”,我并不肯定我一直与那些对病毒进行阳性的人密切接触。

Over the phone, they told me to check my temperature and symptoms, but that I shouldn’t warn the people I had been in contact with, in case I caused them panic. I was told I could do this later if the symptoms became worse.

The next day in Italy, the lockdown started. Offices and shops were forced to close, and nobody could leave the house without a valid reason and self-certification; any kind of meeting was forbidden, and proximity to elderly people was not recommended.

病毒重创。有数千人死亡the north, and the epidemic seemed to be out of control. Streets were deserted and people left the supermarkets empty. It really seemed like war, and for many older people, this situation evoked terrible memories.

In a short time, the symptoms disappeared, but psychologically, I suffered a lot from the condition as I was unable to go out, see my friends, or visit my parents.

I had to reorganize my whole life, the way I work, and the way I relate with others. I was also unsure that I would still have a job at the end of lockdown, and this scared me a lot. Everything was changing so quickly, and all my certainties were wavering.

3月20日左右th, my father sickened. He had a fever and was in a state of confusion. My mother, who is visually impaired and very dependent on him, was suffering from panic.

直到那一刻,我从未去过他们,因为我知道由于年龄的年龄,他们的风险很高,但由于我不能在这样的条件下与父亲独自留下来,我被迫去那里。我的妻子和我的儿子跟我一起。

I called the reporting number again to urgently request the swab for my father, but they refused it. I didn’t know what to do, the virus had blocked the country, and anything, even the most trivial task, was now complicated.

难以困难,我找到了一位去房子的医生。我父亲有支气管炎,他被抗生素举行。他觉得很累,不想吃。对我们所有人来说,情况如此艰难。

最后,发烧停了下来,我的父亲一天变得更好,尽管他继续感到很累。

3月24日,他在下腹部痛苦醒来。我们认为这是一种肠道堵塞,我们再次打电话给医生,但这是无用的。痛苦没有减少。

我和他一起度过了夜晚,按摩他的背部和腹部,希望能够缓解他的痛苦。我不得不做出决定,害怕带他去医院的情况鉴于这种情况,但在家里,我不知道如何处理它。

3月25日上午,我把他带到了急诊室。这是我最后一次见到他。

他们从医院中呼唤我们,说CT扫描显示来自Covid-19的肠道穿孔和间质性肺炎,情况非常严重。

The following days were a nightmare. The lockdown didn’t allow us to visit him, and, moreover, having been in contact with him, we were in compulsory quarantine. From that moment on, we could no longer go out even to shop or throw out the garbage.

这些是非常艰难的日子。

一方面,对我父亲的健康的关注以及无法访问或听到他的挫败感;另一方面,对我家人的健康的恐惧。

鉴于被感染的真正可能性,我再次尝试了拭子,但由于我们是无聊的,他们也否认了我们。

I was afraid, and I didn’t know what to expect. This virus can remain silent for days and then suddenly burst. I was afraid for my loved ones and myself.

我服用免疫抑制剂进行自身免疫性疾病,这可能会使事情变得更糟。我的母亲82岁,我们既高风险。我不明白为什么他们不会擦拭我们。

I tried to filter some bad news arriving from the hospital about my father’s health with my mother, for her not to be worried too much, but at the same time, I didn’t want to create false illusions. Seeing her suffer made me sick.

唯一的灯是我的妻子,谁非常接近我,以及我的儿子,谁充满了欢乐和幸福的房子。

3月28日是我儿子的生日,他已经等了这么久,他会喜欢和他的朋友在动物园里做到这一点,但我们发现自己锁在房子里,我的父亲会死那天。

这是一个忙碌的时间,但最终,我们设法通过缩放与他的朋友组织一场活派对,并命令他在线提出礼物。一会儿,我们忘记了一切,献给了他。

另外9天过去,只剩下2天,直到检疫结束。

I wanted to go out, as I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore, but I needed to get my immunosuppressant shot. If I was positive it could cost me my life, I was afraid and tried again to request the swab. In the end, I got it, but only for me and my mother.

In the meantime, my father got worse, and on April 7th at 1:30 a.m., I received a call from the hospital saying that, unfortunately, he had passed away. The world collapsed on me.

我不知道该怎么办。我的参考点消失了。我感到迷茫,绝望,仿佛那是不够的,我是那个不得不向母亲和兄弟沟通的人。

That morning was endless. We were stuck at home, we had just suffered a very serious mourning, and I was forced to solve all the bureaucratic things, as soon as possible, because the hospital couldn’t keep the corpse of a COVID-19 patient for long.

我打电话给我的兄弟,我们试图弄清楚自葬礼中的规则以来要做什么,只有三个人可以参加。此外,没有可能尊重犹太宗教仪式。

我的母亲和我还在隔离,我们无法参加葬礼。那一刻,唯一能够去的人就是我的兄弟,我的堂兄和陪同他的朋友。我的母亲和我的家人通过放大就读了葬礼。

情况真的是超现实的,我觉得我生活在噩梦中。顺便说一下,在葬礼的那一天,他们应该回家拭子,我很害怕他们可以在服务期间到达。谢天谢地,他们稍后到达。

They showed up at our house with an ambulance and started preparing themselves. They put two overalls on top of each other, shoe covers, two pairs of gloves, hoods, visors, and masks, and headed towards our apartment before the incredulous eyes of neighbors from other condominiums.

他们响了门,并告诉我们去底层,反对所有隐私,为我们提供奖励。我们感到脏了。

与此同时,隔离区结束了,但我们不得不等待拭子的结果3天内出来。我是积极的,我的妈妈是消极的。

At that point, they had to come and swab my wife and son. I got another one for my mother too. She was positive at that time, too, while the rest of the family was negative, so we decided, for their own safety, to send them to another place to pass the quarantine.

It was a difficult decision because, without my wife and son, the house is empty and silent.

我累了,强调。不仅仅是病毒,真正杀死我的是这种强迫的禁闭和来自我所爱的人和朋友的感情。

One evening, maybe because of stress, I was struck by colic. The pain was very strong, and my mother was in panic.

我想打电话给救护车,但是积极的,他们会带我去一个covid中心,而我的母亲会独自一人,我不觉得它。

幸运的是,我能够平息痛苦,但无法生病的想法,不能打电话给医生,而且无法去药房,因为我是积极的非常令人痛苦;这就像在一个科幻电影中。

为了被认为没有传染性,必须有两个连续的负拭子。

On May 3rd., I made my first negative swab. Unfortunately, the second one on May 5th再次积极,我必须再留在家里15天。

In the end, on May 20th, after two negatives swabs, I was finally free! The quarantine was over, and I could go out again! It was a really strange feeling, and I felt like I was free after a long period in jail.

现在,我再次回到正常的生活,虽然没有什么是正常的。

学校仍然关闭,孩子们想念他们的朋友。他们在适应这种新情况时难以困难。商店和餐厅往往是空的,人们以不同的方式互相看。

This experience has marked me a lot, and I miss the little things I did every day.

我们相信我们生活在一个社会中准备好的东西,但病毒就足以将一个国家带到其膝盖,剥夺了他们所拥有的最重要的事情的人:对他们所爱的人,自由和与人民的爱情的爱爱。

在病毒到达后,一切都发生了变化,我真的不知道我们是否可以回到正常,到我们曾经知道的世界。